Imagining I am Lily

This page Might

be Cringe for some 

I have been debating with myself over providing a closer look at my imagination as a child like character. Like I mentioned in my public diary its a therapeutic thing that helps me solve many problems. Generally this page will be for anyone who is curios about what I look like when playing this out in life. I use the name LP2Lily or Lily for short. Its to get people to understand that I do not fallow cultural expectations and in general I refuse to. When it comes to gender I only fallow things in scripture. I was born a biological male and that is who I want to be. If I have traits that culture thinks is feminine then I am a male with feminine traits. Yet, I am happy being one of the few men who thoroughly enjoys many colors and many interest that may not fit the masculine narrative. Lily is a special little dragon covered in fur. He is a ball of fur that is full of joy and inspiration. No one is required to keep a watch over this page. It is only here for those who would like to know what this looks like for me. 

 

 I want to move onto the next step of my plan as described in Public Pacifier. I thought about making this a category in my blog. However, I can't make it invisible or hidden if it makes some uncomfortable. I don't need people to see it. My intention is to eventually be able to use my pacifier and a small plushy in public if I need it. I also want to find a place that I can use my pacifier without worry of bothering people. This will be the final step in my goals for Public Pacifier. From the very beginning I knew I will have to keep modesty in mind. This website is no different in that aspect. So, while this will be here for anyone who is genuinely curious I wont be exposing anything that I keep in my private diary. I often come off as very transparent, but this is not even close to accurate. I do have my own personal secrets. I have a lot of  secrets actually. I recently got to thinking about that, and this has been very empowering the last couple of days. I don't need to be completely transparent. As my mother would say. "Don't tell people that your mother farts unicorn dust." Of course you did not hear that from me!

Basically I will be adding and removing content over time. I may even move some blogging here just to keep things a little more organized. The idea is to provide something a little more professional in all the other tabs. This website will always be improving. However, I hope the people who need it the most will find this page helpful. Either for overcoming their disabilities or to remove the metaphorical mask that they use to hide who they are. It is reasonable to keep modesty in mind, but this should not force you into a box. People should be inspired to be who they are. Because only an individual can decide to be the special person that only they can be or to hide themselves entirely. I will take the first step as a sign of good faith. My prayer is that many will be inspired to also make that step without fear or shame. God made you fearfully and wonderfully special. There is no other person like you and it would be a wrong to hid in shame all the time. Its ok to be you. 

Comfortably Public Me

The Pictures Explained

The first one is me with my plushy. I am not being paid to advertise. This is simply what I am into and that helps me solve many life problems. A lot of my family like this picture of me. The picture of me in the pants with the pacifier clipped on is me on July of the year about the time of Baltimore Bronycon. This is how I looked at the convention. My idea is my normal street cloths and my pacifier or stuffed animal fully visible in some way. Then the next couple of pictures are my preferred pacifiers. The one with the clear nipple in it demonstrates the difference between an infant size and an adult orthodontic size. I prefer Pacifiers R Us MonSep12 type. Specifically the Ortho #7. Again I am not being paid to say any of this. This is just my preferred pacifier. The shorter ones in the pictures are a NUK 5 size. I use them on occasion when the others become uncomfortable.  Then I have some really big ones that I use when I can't keep myself from sucking too hard. The point of the pacifier is to keep me from clenching my jaw when I am stressed out. I also use my pacifier to help me concentrate on the current task. Especially when its math or electronics DIY. I had to try really hard not to put my thumb too far into my mouth while in college. I never picked up on this until I happened to realize I did this a lot in my math class. 

As for the last picture. This is me with a big shield pacifier. I really need to shave and cut my hair. I wanted to put up something for an example of what I meant by my next step in my Public Pacifier goals. Like I mentioned in other places I hope to set my end goal on the ability to use my pacifier and plush in public while maintaining modesty. Once I get to this point I will set anchor and not go further. I hope to define reasonable compromises in when and where I can use my pacifier. Everywhere else there needs to be a critical reason that I would use it. Like when I am breaking down from anxiety or depression. Then I will use it regardless of where I am at. My pacifier is not the only way to resolve these problems, but it radically speeds up the recovery after these moments. Don't ask me why because I gave up trying to figure it out myself a long time ago. I will add the next gallery of my therapeutic age-reg when I have groomed and I can get better pictures. Like mentioned above it will still maintain modesty even though it shows a clearer picture of what I look like when I decide to take a day to really take a VK from adulthood and solve my problems from a realistic perspective.Remember my inner child is a metaphor not an identity. Its my persona within my imagination if that makes sense.

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