Long journey for Fathemistic Fantasy
This one is going to be messy because it needs to be posted like yesterday. If its not a status I like to spend a while writing it to be several pages at 11 point font and single spaced. Sometimes its front and back because it makes lengthy writing easier to edit. I double space when ever its the final editing where technical grammar is critical with double space at 12 point font. Anyone remember your teachers requirements for an essay? It makes inking in corrections a whole lot easier. I will edit and update this Blog entry over time. For now please excuse the messy writing. THANKYOU for your support!
I began this website for a lot of different reasons. A big one is because its therapeutic and its cheaper than paying for therapy. Plus, I became stable enough to use activities instead of just writing several paragraphs in an online therapy chat window. Long story short tech school became toxic to me and I was becoming something I was not proud of. My autistic stemming was not just simple chatter. It was stuff that really bugged people. I also was denied simple things like after class time for when I was confused. Like when your teacher went over something you did not understand. Any normal person would talk to the professor to straighten out any confusion they had with the lesson. I was asking for a simple tutor because the teacher refused to do this for me. I was told, “no one is going to hold your hand or tutor you. You need to grow up and stop with the fantasies.” I paraphrased here and there, but the whole story is a long one and many curse words were said.
A lot of harsh things was said to me, but thankfully I was never cussed out. If I was or if the harassment became worse you better believe I would have resorted to writing a complaint to some one hire up. However, a lot of the problems were made worse because I lost who I was. I had to drop out of school entirely. I already dropped out of college because every other teacher was different. In college it was a lot easier because I was given the freedom to use my coping strategies. I was limited where necessary for the class mind you, but I was given enough breathing room to have an equal opportunity to pass every class. The only thing that would have made things easier on my anxiety would be if I was allowed to sketch note. Even then it was not a big deal because I was taking an anti-anxiety medication prescribed by my doctor. I had to be taken off of it later because I went to the hospital for acute pancreatitis. After the usual, “what have you been drinking,” false accusation the only thing they could think of was my anti anxiety medication.
My mother made me stop drinking Monster energy drinks. She in turn told me that she would stop requiring me to eat out with family. Lets just say I prefer my own g-free meals for my Ciliac friendly diet. Not all of it is bad mind you. I actually have one restaurant that I love. However, most of it was places that just did not do this type of food enough to know how to cook it. Pancakes would be thin and very few for the price they cost. Plus the g-free menu was at times very limited. Of course moments have occurred where it was either eat out or wait till ya get home. Of course I was not too fond of going to the grocery store and a lot of times there just was not enough time for that anyway. So needless to say I do on occasion have a monster energy drink to help with my sleep patterns. I try to only use one once a month or less. Otherwise I do get my nights and days really messed up.
A new plan has come around though. This website is a big part of it. When I was working at a grocery store and even there after I was buying bulk parts. Parts like logic gates, operational amplifiers, and many different kits of passive components. It was toward the end of my time spend working at the grocery store. So, I did spend a lot of my returns on art, electronics, and stuff for my slow to form plan. I was not solid on a plan, but I knew I wanted to make my book series happen. I started it in high school 2008. It hit a big interest in my life around 2010. However, a lot of people doubted and would advise I would continue my dream to go into Engineering.
This is My Purpose Driven Life
After a while I felt like God was pulling me into a different direction. As much as I would like to credit my bad experiences to coincidence I cannot deny just how important this story I have has become important in my spirituality. My coping strategies even blend with who I am as a Christian. Molly does use a pacifier and Lilly does imagine himself as a toddler during times when he needs to overcome the impossible. The way Noah become Lily in his own little head space often requires him to do so behind closed doors. As in his authority over his team of Engineers for Skyship Lysteria requires that he keeps his inner toddler low key. He actually influences Molly to use the same coping strategy and not just a pacifier in a PLUR fashion with bead art. They don't fall in love mind you. At least not at first. (I have not decided yet) :P
Of course his brother Christopher does step in and pull him through it. Noah (Lily) is brilliant in the work of audio and digital communication. He can encrypt entire maps from pixels to a data stream that has traps in it. You have to have the decryption in order to safely avoid the pit falls in making it a readable map again. However, like me Noah prefers using his talent in producing electronic sound synthesis. Its not about war that way. However, if the Guardians did not fight then thousands upon thousands of hybrid species would die.
If you have not guessed it by now everything that I have been through has formed the purpose driven life I have now. I plan to make this website something that brings people together and make their own imaginative craft to tell their own story. Create a diary, a scrap book, or build a synth and or do cabinetry. However do so to tell your story in some way. Right now this website is running on fumes. I recently got all the shelves and big items in my apartment where they are supposed to be. Right now I hope to make it stay that way and organize the rest of it. I lost count how many times I moved a shelf and the floor would be once again covered. I suppose this was part of my anxiety and depression. Yet, in doing all this I realize exactly what is not functional. Next thing to do is to start either commission work or make my way into the study of a self taught technical job or both.
If you want to support
I cannot do Patreon even if I wanted to. I also cannot accept donations purely for a donation to my cause. My financial situation is stable without any income even though its very limited. If I start having income that is inconsistent then the amount I receive will be the amount subtracted from what I am allowed. If I am going to escape this poverty trap I absolutely need a fool proof plan to become stable once I lose the financial support I have right now. This is by no means a deterrent for people to support me in some way. God will open up a door. The fact that this has been so difficult means that God will do a huge miracle and it will be just that much more noticeable than the rain or an end of the raining.
I will be doing commissions soon because I need to learn how to do this. It would be critical for me to learn how this works right now while I have financial support I can fall back on then to have a simple mishap and lose it all because I lost the support that was there before. I am looking into spreading out my areas of art and DIY. Right now; however, I can do still life and abstract art. I can draw a pacifier and my understanding of how color works is slowly becoming practical enough to sell. Whether your using this as a coping strategy like me or your a parent and want something to commemorate the life of your child I can do art of the items that remind you of these special times.
Some of the things I hope to get into are custom modular synth panels, custom built synth cabinets. and possibly kitchen cabinets. A big factor at play right now is that I get a practical set up of my imaginative craft and that I have a license to transport stuff. I do hope that I may be able to do free delivery of items. I am thinking about getting some sort of electrical license as well. I still have the books on residential. I would never do this as a trade mind you. However, I will be able to install luminaries and lights when I do cabinets. I will be able to make cabinetry a trade if my job in self taught programming and networking falls through. I have to have a stable income before I can do anything big with imaginative craft. The more I make the less I get from what was granted to me. Eventually the financial support will be gone and if anything goes wrong I will have nothing to fall back on. That is exactly why I cannot do Patreon and that is exactly why I cannot accept every commission I receive.
Lastly please understand I have the right to choose what commissions I do. I have the right to decide what my imaginative craft means. If you decide on doing one yourself you too have the right to decide what it means to you. To rap this up; I want people to understand that under the 1st amendment of the American Constitution I have the right to express who I am as I see it. Just because I turn down a commission regardless of what it is I don’t owe you an explanation. I will do my best to provide information for another person you can go to if possible who can do your commission when necessary.
Also just a shout out to the anonymous who told my grandmother about how they enjoy my writing and art work. Your kind words are a huge encouragement to me as an imaginative crafter. I am overjoyed to know that I am doing something good with my transparency for some one. God Bless and as always to everyone. Be the unique you that only you can be. I will see you peoples in the next tutorial. I Promise!